Adapting
by mangopineapple
Summary: They had always thought she was invincible. Abby had always worked too much. When her body finally protests, she has to change her lifestyle. How will she and her team handle it?
1. Prologue

Note: This story takes place after the events of _Bloodbath_. And of course, I own nothing!****

**Prologue**

He should have known it. It had barely been a week since they had caught the man that had stalked her for months and then tried to kill her repeatedly, yet she was already back in the lab, processing the evidence of their latest case. In her underground lab, her safe place, with music thundering, she gently declined any suggestions to take some time off.  
Just a few days had passed. Slowly, autumn had made the leaves change from bright red to even brighter yellow outside his window. When she had shown up to work the day after the incident, giddily handing him a cup of coffee in the elevator, he had been the first to suggest that she take a few days off from work. Her smile had turned into a frown halfway through his first sentence.  
"Why?" She demanded. He noticed the muscles of her jaw tensing, her mind probably already racing with every reason she had to say no.  
"You've been through a lot these past days... quite frankly, you look really tired"  
The frown turned into a guilty expression. "I'm okay, Gibbs. Really."  
The elevator dinged. The last he saw of her before she disappeared into the array of machinery and computers was a smile and her hands quickly signing  
"_Don't worry!_"

How she handled that workload he'd never understand. He and Abby had always been the first ones to show up at work every morning, always the last ones to leave. But while Gibbs took breaks for coffee, lunch, coffee, a snack, and some more coffee, Abby did not slow down unless forced.  
He gathered his things from his desk and strode towards the elevators, turning off the lights on the way.  
He avoided the puddles of water as he quickly walked across the dimly lit parking lot. Rain was hanging in the cool autumn air. He caught a glimpse of her hearse as he got into his own car.  
How she handled it, he'd never understand.****

* * *

Hi there!  
I'm a new author at the site, and this is my first story! :)  
Please tell me what you think of it by reviewing!  
Cheers,  
mangopineapple  



	2. Not invincible

**Chapter 1**

It had been a week since they had caught the the man that had stalked Abby. Life at NCIS had soon returned to normal, in every aspect except for one. Gibbs's gut still told told him that something was wrong. For now though, he ignored it, and instead focused his attention on Tony who was telling the team about their new case.  
A marine had been found, murdered, and when they had visited the crime scene earlier in the morning, they had found the murder weapon, and although they hadn't confirmed DNA or fingerprints with Abby yet, it seemed like an open-and-shut case.  
As Tony, Ziva and McGee all continued following their leads, he needed information on the body of the victim. Maybe he could stop by Abby, to confirm that she really was okay? He sighed at himself. He really needed to stop worrying about her. They had caught her stalker, and she had proved more than once that she was quite capable of taking care of herself. He shook his head as if trying to make his fatherly worries go away.  
He is greeted with the usual faint hospital-like smell of disinfectant as the elevators doors swing open to reveal the morgue. Bright lights are centered around the body of the dead marine. The ME and his assistant are studying the victims hands, Ducky, as usual, already midway through an anecdote.

"...And that is why, young Palmer, that one should never leave ones utensils unguarded"

He looked up at Gibbs who had, seemingly, appeared out of nowhere as usual, and smiled.

"Oh hello Jethro! I was just telling young Palmer here..."

"That's great Duck, but what about our marine?" Gibbs asked impatiently while Ducky snapped off his latex gloves.

"I'm afraid I can't tell you much yet Jethro" he said "What we've confirmed is that he was stabbed, probably by someone who knew what he was doing, since his first stab was lethal, the knife pierced his heart through the middle. I can't

really tell you much more until I get those results back from Abby, but they should be done any minute" He pushes the body into one of the morgues lockers, twisting the handle to lock it.

"Actually, I'll join you there" he said and turned around towards Palmer to give him some instructions.

They stood together in silence as the elevator doors closed, dinged, and opened again.  
It was quiet. They looked at each other, puzzled.

"Hey Abby, what's with the lack of music?"

Abby appeared from behind the masspectometer with several tiny screwdrivers in her hands.  
"Nothing, just favored some silence while working out some kinks with Major Masspectometer here!" She nodded towards the large machine. "What can I help you guys with?"

"We need confirmation that we have DNA or a fingerprint from the weapon."

"Actually, we don't have a fingerprint, the killer must have worn a glove, but we do have some DNA! It belongs to a certain private Ryan Olsen"

Gibbs couldn't help but noticing her hands trembling as she handed him the papers, but Ducky didn't seem to notice and Abby kept on babbling about the importance of fingerprints while picking up a tray of glass vials. His gut was telling him something was very wrong, and looking back at this moment later, he knew that this was somehow the end of life as it had been.

He would remember that moment for a long time afterwards, the frozen pictures of the moment stuck in his brain, accompanied by the fear in his stomach. The evening sun of November shining a soft orange light through the windows. Ducky's affectionate smile when she laughed at his anecdote.  
And then Abby's legs suddenly wobbling, her hands dropping the tray. The glass shattered across the floor.

"Whoa" She exclaimed as Ducky rushed to steady her. "I think a need to sit down for a minute"

He didn't remember taking the few steps to get to her, he just remembered how surprisingly light she felt in his arms as he picked her up and carried her across the lab to her futon.

"What happened Abs? Are you okay?"

"It's nothing, I just got a little dizzy... Probably slept too little these past few days"

Ducky checked her pulse with a worried look in his eyes..

"Is this the first time this happened again dear? I mean, since the check-up?"

"Well, actually, it's the second" Abby's pale cheeks blushed slightly.

_"What check-up?"_ Gibbs looked sternly from Abby's guilty face to Ducky's even guiltier.

"Well..." Ducky began, stroking Abby's cheek as he talked. "Last week, when Abigail was helping me clean up the morgue, she had a similar feeling of dizziness. I convinced her to let me examine her. I found nothing wrong except that her

pulse seemed a bit high." He looked earnestly at Gibbs.

" I'm sorry.." He began, but was interrupted by Abby. Her voice was hoarse and her eyes were apologetic. "No Ducky, don't apologize, I was the one who told you not to tell Gibbs."

She looked up at Gibbs.

"I should have told you myself"

"Don't worry about it Abs" He cupped her chin in his hand. "What's wrong with her, Duck?"

"Honestly, I think a doctor at a hospital should have a look at her"

Abby and Gibbs shot him a glance in unison.

"Or maybe I'll just have a look at her" He looked at Abby with a worried look on his face. "Let's get you down to the morgue. Can you walk?" Abby opened her mouth to say something but were immediately interrupted by Gibbs.

"I'll carry you!"His blue eyes met her green and she didn't protest. He carefully picked her up off the futon and carried her in his arms as they walked towards the elevator. He could feel her ribs and spine as he held his hand on her back, and another cold flash of worry hit his gut.

"You've lost weight" It wasn't a question, and she couldn't really pretend like it was. She shrugged her shoulders.

At the morgue, he sat her down on one of the metal slabs, letting Ducky listen to her heart through a stethoscope and check her temperature.

"You are _definitely _in need of some time off young lady" Ducky scolded Abby, but he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he realized she was nodding and smiling.

"I guess I do, huh?"

"I'll drive you to your place" Gibbs said sternly. "Why don't you go pick up your things and meet me at my car, and I'll talk to Ducky for a few minutes"

"Sure" She hopped of the slab and smiled weakly as she stepped into the elevator.

He turned to Ducky, who was fidgeting with the buttons of his lab coat.

"I'm..."

They had both begun speaking at the same time. Jethro gestured for Ducky to continue.  
"I really am sorry for not telling you Jethro... I've known for a few weeks that she hasn't been feeling well, but she didn't want you to worry about her."

He paused, sighing.

"She works too hard Jethro. It's taking it's toll on her. I'm actually amazed that she has been able to work this hard for the years that I've known her."  
He looked at Gibbs, knowing what his friend felt for their forensic scientist. He saw the worry and the guilt in his eyes. Gibbs clenched hist fists tightly before he began to talk.

"She'll be fine, won't she Duck? She just needs a few days off, eating and sleeping."  
"Yes, I'm quite certain that will do the trick" Ducky smiled reassuringly and tried not to notice that Gibbs still didn't seem convinced.

* * *

**Hey there! The first chapter is now up! :)**  
**I've written quite a few chapters already, so I think I'll be updating this story quite often!**  
**Please tell me what you think of it by reviewing! I hope you'll like it! **  
**Lots of love,**

**mangopineapple**


	3. Isn't she?

Ziva stretched her arms behind her back and yawned. The bright greenish lights of the morgue coupled with the fact that there were no windows really made her lose track of the time she had spent down there.  
It was a slow day, their current case made minimal progress. She had been sent to the morgue by Gibbs, originally to find out if Ducky had news, but since he did not, she decided to stay and help him out with some paperwork.

"Are you tired, my dear?"

Ducky was stapling case reports together and the jotting down notes in a large folder. His bright orange bow tie contrasted starkly against all of the white and pale green in the room.

"I guess I am" She smiled as Ducky shot her a glance with a cheerful glint in his eyes.

"Well then, there's not much more you can help me with I'm afraid. I think you'll be able to leave early, seeing as the case isn't really going anywhere at the moment"

"We really do need more evidence to catch this guy" Ziva frowned "A fingerprint! And Abby, we definetly need Abby. Her replacement isn't working half as fast"

"Well dear, working in that pace was really what made her need to rest this week" Ducky said, the cheerful glint having been replaced by a slightly worried one.

"I work in a fast pace and I don't need to rest!" Ziva argued, hands on her hips.

"I know that. I am not trying to say that you don't work hard!" Ducky chuckled, and Ziva relaxed her posture again.  
"But you know your limits... Abigail has such passion for her job, and that together with the fact that she is quite loyal makes her quite unwilling to take some much needed time off now and then.  
Even if she definitely needs to" He muttered.

There was a slight pause. Ducky shuffled the papers on his desk around while Ziva put the folders into different drawers. They worked in silence for a few minutes. Ziva knew he had taken it hard when Abby had been stalked, he cared for her like family. In the few days that she'd been gone, he had often had a slightly absent facial expression, and she assumed his mind was with Abby.

"She's really ill, isn't she?"

Ducky looked up. She had expected that he'd protest, but she could see the worry in his eyes as her gaze met his.  
"What makes you think that?"

"She's been tired lately. She won't admit it, but you can tell she doesn't sleep much. And frankly, you and Gibbs looked really worried the other day when you sent her home"

"There certainly are no hiding things from you!" He tried to sound cheerful, but quickly realized he couldn't, and met her gaze. His voice was convinced as he spoke again.  
"But she's our Abigail, you know she'll be fine!"

Ziva smiled.

* * *

**Hey there, again! Thanks for all of the reviews I've been getting! :D**  
**This is quite a short chapter, but it's needed for the plot! Expect a longer chapter soon!**

**As always, please review! :)**

**mangopineapple**


	4. Back again

As soon as she stepped out of the elevator, Abby could hear somebody call her name. She looked up to find McGee about an inch from her face with a slightly embarrassed but genuinely happy smile on his face.  
"I'm so glad you're back! I mean... I'm really glad you're feeling better! I mean, are you feeling better? I'm glad you're back!"

She ignored his blushing cheeks and slight stutter and threw her arms around him in a tight hug.

"I am feeling better! And I'm really happy to be back too!"

McGee's smile brightened.

"You look very pretty today. And, you know, well rested."

She looked down at her outfit. She was wearing her favorite pair of jeans, they were a bit baggy, but she loved them, and a plain black t-shirt. She had decided to spend the 20 minutes she usually spent straightening her hair in the morning to have a good breakfast instead, and had pulled her soft curls into a ponytail. Honestly, she did not feel great, although she did feel much better than last week. Sleep really did cure a lot of things, she figured.

The rest of the morning ran smoothly, albeit slowly. She was visited by Ducky mere minutes after beginning to study their latest evidence. He gave her a warm hug and told her that he had missed her company. She hugged him back and told him she had missed him too.  
She didn't quite feel fine yet, her head still spun if she stood up too quickly and she always felt cold. But despite that, being back at work with her team made a warm feeling spread through her stomach. And what was that other feeling? Hunger! Before she had time to process her thought into action she could feel the presence of somebody behind her. She spun around, feeling her ponytail hitting something in the process.

"I like your new look Abs."

"Gibbs!"

She hugged him tightly and he hugged back, chuckling at her apparent happiness.  
When they broke the hug, she could feel him inspecting her thoroughly as she put down the file she was holding.

"You look a lot better today."

She smiled, and Gibbs blushed when he realized how he had phrased it.

"I mean, you look like you feel better. Do you? Have you slept enough?"

She nodded, and he revealed a brown paper bag that he had been holding. He opened it to reveal a sandwich, an apple, and a juice box.

"I figured you haven't eaten yet so I..." He trailed off, but Abby didn't care. She wrapped her arms around him in another hug, drowning out his attempts to finish his sentence.

"Thank you! Not just for the food you know, but for.. everything! I really needed to rest but I didn't realize it and I'm really lucky to have you and Ducky and everybody, aren't I? I'm really happy to have you, you know that, right?"

She could feel herself rambling. Somehow telling Gibbs how much he mattered to her wasn't as easy as she had assumed it would be. But he knew how she felt, didn't he? He always seemed to know everything even before she knew it herself. Oh God, was she rambling in her mind too?  
Gibbs just smiled, like he knew was she was thinking.

"It's okay Abs." He stroked her cheek, and then looked at her sternly.

"But you have to take care of yourself. Eat more. Sleep more. Take breaks."  
The he turned around to leave the lab, but before he stepped into the elevator, he turned around and signed _"I care for you." _making the warm tingly feeling spread out to her fingertips.

Since the evidence of their case was still quite scarce, briefing Tony and Ziva on her latest findings didn't take many minutes. Before she managed to get back to her lab, they had persuaded her that she should stay in the bullpen with them.  
There was something about the way they talked... And the way their eyes darted back and forth when she tried to make eye contact. But they did have a point, she didn't have any new evidence to process, she could stay here with them, to keep them company, as they said.

"C'mon Abs, stay! I'll let you upgrade my computer!" Tony looked at her with puppy dog eyes.  
Abby giggled. Tony was so sweet, always caring for her, even if she definitely had a strong feeling that he and Ziva were acting on strict orders from Gibbs to make her take it easy.

The afternoon was slow. After fixing Tony's computer, she had worked out some kinks with Ziva's, and then she had helped them file reports and various other paperwork. She felt tired, drained even, as she slumped down in Tony's chair. Maybe she shouldn't have come back to work yet, she never used to get tired by 14:00. In fact, she rarely ever used to get tired. Sighing, she had a feeling she should rest more, maybe she really was overworked. Or maybe it was just a cold. A shiver ran through her body. Even if it wasn't a cold, she sure did feel cold!  
Tony noticed her shivering, and Abby could see him exchange a concerned glance with Ziva in the corner of her eye. Ziva pulled out one of the drawers of her desk, pulling out a purple hooded sweater with the words "Krav Maga" printed on the back.

"Would you like to lend my sweater Abby?"

"Borrow" Tony chuckled. Ziva rolled her eyes at him.

"Thank you" She smiled as she pulled the hoodie over her head. It was a bit too large, but warm and comfy. "Actually, I think I'm gonna have to sit down for a minute" she said, but upon turning around, she realized that Tony had reoccupied the chair. He looked at her with a cheesy grin and pointed to his lap. She chuckled and sat on his lap while he affectionately put his arms around her.  
Ziva smiled at them.  
"You two have been close friends for quite a while, yes?"

"Yeah, since.. since we both started working here I guess. We kinda clicked!" Tony said enthusiastically. Then he lowered his voice a little, suddenly sounding dead serious. Abby could feel him tensing the muscles of his legs underneath her.  
"You are like a sister to me Abby. You do know that, don't you?"

Abby tensed at the sudden change of tone, but she could hear the sincerity in his voice, and she felt the same way.

"And you are like a brother to me."

Had her voice always sounded this raspy? Had she always been this tired?  
It felt like lead weights were hanging from her hands and feet, weighing down her every move.  
She had a creeping feeling that she should get home to rest before she felt worse, but she wanted to linger in Tony's comfortable lap for a little bit longer. She was leaning against him, her head on his chest, listening to his calm breathing as he chatted with Ziva.  
Just as she was about to doze off, she heard them suddenly become quiet.

"Abby, sweetie?" Tony shook her shoulders gently. "Are you feeling okay? Are you cold?"

Having woken quickly, and feeling slightly less tired, she answered, trying to sound chipper.

"Sure, I'm fine! And why would I bee cold?"

Tony and Ziva stared at her, concern showing in their faces.

"Why are you staring at me?" She had meant it to sound annoyed, but it came out sounding like a little girls voice.

"Because your lips are turning blue." Tony put his warm hand on her cold forehead. She didn't like the sound of his voice, the concern did not sound right in his otherwise confident voice.

"She should definitely go home to rest!"

"I will follow her to her car. Or should I drive her?"

"I can drive, I'm just tired." Abby interrupted. Ziva and Tony exchanged glances.

"Fine, but I will follow you to your car."

Abby just nodded, not having the energy to argue with her.

As she stood up to follow Ziva to the elevator, small orange spots suddenly appeared in her field of vision, dancing around the peripheries. She almost tripped on her platform boots, or she thought she did anyway, because when she looked down at her feet, she was just wearing striped socks. She stumbled.

"Abby, are you okay?" Ziva called. She looked over at Tony, who had stood up from his chair. "Should I call Ducky?"

Ziva's voice sounded like it came from far away, but before she knew it, she was standing beside her in front of the elevator.

"Guys, I'm not feeling too good..."

Suddenly her vision blacked out. The last thing she felt was Tony's hand feeling her wrists, and the spicy scent of Ziva's perfume.

* * *

**Hey guys!**  
**Thanks for all of the lovely reviews I've been getting, they really make me happy!**

**How do you like the story so far? **

**Any critizism? **

**Comments?**

**Suggestions?**

**Tell me what you think by reviewing!**

**Love,**  
**mangopineapple**


	5. Waiting

**Hey guys! Thank you for the awesome reviews! 3**  
**I thought I'd give you this little teaser while I finish up the upcoming chapters!**  
**I have the next three chapters ahead almost finished, and they should be published soon, hopefully within days of eachother! :)**  
**I hope you keep reading,**  
**and as always, suggestions, critisism, comments or just random statements about fruit...**  
**it's all welcome!**

**Love!**  
**mangopineapple**

* * *

In the waiting room of Bethesda Memorial Hospital, five people are seated in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, waiting for the swinging doors to reveal the same doctor that 36 minutes earlier had pushed the gurney of their friend through those doors.

An elderly man wearing a bow tie, glasses and a lab coat is staring sadly at the doors while stroking the back of a beautiful Israeli woman with long wild curls, who is leaning her head into her hands and looking lost, brow furrowed in concern.  
Beside them sits a young man with the facial expression of a lost puppy, constantly checking the time on his hi-tech cellphone. The slightly older man next to him pulls his hand through his brown hair and smiles at a young nurse for a second before the worried look returns to his face.  
At the end of the row of chairs, closest to the swinging doors, sits a man with navy haircut and icy blue eyes, lost in his own thoughts.

"Did anyone know about this?" One of the younger men asks no one in particular.

"About what?" The next youngest man answers.

"I'm not sure... I mean, whatever she has, it's not just a case of being overworked, is it?"

There is a silence, seemingly lasting an hour, but in reality, only a minute or two.

"Her symptoms point to some sort of heart or lung disease..." The elderly gentleman seems to realize what he is saying mid-sentence, and falls silent.

The silence seems deafening, and lasts for the remaining 17 minutes until the doors suddenly swing open.


	6. Revelations

**Sorry about the teaser!**  
**Next chapter will be up later today!**

**As always,**  
**reviews, critizism or praise are always welcome!**

**Lots of love,**  
**mangopineapple**

* * *

"Well I'm sorry gentlemen" the doctor nodded to the men in the room, and then to Ziva "Lady. But since this is not visitation hours and none of you are family, I cannot tell you anything more than the fact that she's stable, but unconscious."

"Can, can we s-see her?" McGee's brain cursed his stuttering tongue. Why couldn't he sound more confident?

"You most certainly cannot..." The doctor begun, but immediately stopped when everyone in the room except for Ducky flashed their badges at him.  
The doctor muttered something about federal agents, but led the group through a few corridors and into a room.  
McGee couldn't believe his eyes. Abby, their Abby, _his_ Abby. Lying there in a hospital bed, in a hospital gown. Half a dozen wires protruded from her body. Her raven bangs were tousled, her curls spread across the pillow.  
He could hear Ziva gasp behind him, and Ducky exclaiming "_Oh dear Abigail..._"

There was a momentary shuffle as they all tried to push the few small plastic chairs closer to her bed without shoving anyone else. Tony, Ducky and himself had taken seats at her sides while Ziva and Gibbs stood at the feet of her bed, both having crossed their arms across their chest. Gibbs exchanged glances with the doctor, who immediately left the room.

"What do you think Ducky?" Gibbs's voice sounded unusually small.

Ducky sighed. "Judging by these" he nodded towards the many wires "Her body doesn't get enough oxygen... which could be caused by a multiple of factors, a variety of diseases of the lungs or heart, or perhaps anemia."

"What's all of this... machinery, for?" Tony asked. He was holding Abby's right hand in his, careful not to touch the IV needle taped to it.

"Well, Anthony, the nasal cannula provides her with additional oxygen and this IV supplies her with a nutrition and fluids intravenously. "

McGee pointed towards Abby's left hand, which he was holding. A plastic clip covered most of her index finger. The clip was connected with a machine trough a wire.  
"This is a pulse oximeter." He said. Tony looked at him quizzically, one brow raised.  
"It measures the oxygen saturation of her blood."

"That's quite right Timothy" Ducky smiled at him, impressed.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, listening to her steady heartbeat on the monitor, until Ziva cleared her throat.

"We must contact her family." She said in an unusually quiet voice, not looking up from her hands that she held in her lap.

"I'd like to do it!" McGee could hear himself say the words before he even knew that he wanted to, but he had a sudden urge to do something, something practical, to fix all of this somehow. He didn't like sitting here, useless.

"I'm sorry McGee, you can't talk to them." Gibbs's gravelly voice was stern, and it made McGee wonder what he had done wrong.

"But boss, why?"

"Because you can't talk to them!" This time Gibbs sounded quite frustrated.

"Yes, but _why_?"

Gibbs drew a frustrated sigh and began to say something before Ducky interrupted him.

"Because they are deaf, Timothy" he said calmly. "They only speak sign language." Tony filled in.

McGee could feel his cheeks becoming warmer and looked at his shoes while muttering.  
"Sorry sir, I forgot."

McGee had a fitful sleep that night. He couldn't get the image of Abby, lying unconscious in that hospital bed, out of his head. He flipped his pillow over, trying not to think, trying to drift off to sleep. It finally worked, but his dreams were haunted with images of blue lips and the sounds of a heart monitor.

The team were gathered outside the door of her room long before a nurse finally arrived and let them in for visitors hours. When they entered the room, Abby was awake. She was sitting up in the bed, pillows supporting her back, with a laptop resting on her knees. Some color had returned to her face, and when she noticed them entering, a smile lit up her face, her deep green eyes sparkling.

"You're here!" Her voice was raspier than usual, but there was nothing wrong with her usual enthusiasm.

She reached out her arms towards Ducky, who was standing closest to her bed, and he hugged her gently. She proceeded to hug everyone whilst they bombarded her with questions.

"How are you feeling?"  
"Do they know what's wrong with you?"  
"What's with the computer?"

Abby closed her eyes for a second, probably more tired than she let on. She cleared her throat before beginning to talk.

"I'm really glad that you're all here. I'm feeling a lot better since yesterday... probably because of all of these meds, not to mention the sleep, but I can't tell you that I'm okay." Her voice trembled a bit at her last words. McGee wanted to hug her tightly but put his arm gently on her shoulder for reassurance instead. The room had gone eerily silent, everyone waiting for Abby's next words.  
"I've talked to my doctors... and I will probably be staying here for a week or so, because they need to figure out my medications..."

A subtle knock on the door interrupted her. The door opened to reveal a tall blonde doctor. He had a mustache and friendly blue eyes.

"Hello there miss Sciuto! I see your team has arrived."

Abby nodded, smiling sadly.  
"Are you here to tell them what you told me last night?"

He nods with a solemn look on his face and begins to read from his clipboard.  
This is were McGee's world was turned upside down. He could feel himself getting cold, his mind trying desperately to protect him from the truth by making his vision slightly blurred, the voices of the room sounding like they came from far, far away. He can clearly hear the doctor say that Abby's heart muscle is weakened and inflamed, leaving her blood with too little oxygen to made her body function, but from then on, he can only hear and see bits and pieces.

"_Clearly, she works too much..."_

_"...insufficient blood flow to the brain..."_

_"...made worse by the fact that she is underweight, and has slight anemia..."_

_"...drastic life changes..."_

"_...survival rates at this stage are around 50 %"_

_Tony's hand wiping a single tear off Abby's cheek, cupping her chin in his hand. Ducky's face gradually turning whiter. Ziva taking Abby's hands in hers, stroking them.  
Gibbs avoiding eye contact.  
Gibbs slamming his fist into the wall when the doctor has left the room.  
Gibbs storming out.  
Ziva seeing the despair in Abby's eyes, and running after Gibbs._


	7. In the sun

**Hey again!  
**

**This chapter will be based on a song called _In the sun_ by _Joseph Arthur_. It is beautiful, and it inspired me a lot when I was writing this chapter.**  
**I first heard it in an episode of Scrubs, it can be heard when Dr Cox's son Jack is baptised in the episode "My New God".**

**I really hope you'll enjoy reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Love!**  
**mangopineapple**

* * *

Gibbs couldn't stay there any longer. He stormed out into the hallway and soon found his way out through the hospitals back entrance.

Ah, at last he was free of that sickening hospital smell. He looked around and found that he was in the small park behind the hospital. It was a beautiful fall day, the leaves exploding in shades of red, orange and yellow. Hospital orderlies were pushing patients in wheelchairs on the small paved paths of the park. Children were rolling around in the piles of leaves on the ground, the sun shining down on them from the sapphire sky.  
The beauty of the day seemed cruel and ironic. He had found himself unable to process anything said after her doctors last words. He felt frozen, and the small feeling of cold fear that had been in his gut since Abby had gotten dizzy in her lab had now spread through his entire body. Coldness spread through his veins, all the way out to his fingertips. Images from the past flickered by.

Abby's smiling face, eager to show him evidence, to make him happy.  
The celebratory cartwheeling through her lab._  
_Her hands signing_ For you, anything!  
_Her laugh.  
Oh, god, he couldn't even imagine never hearing _her laugh_ again.

_I picture you in the sun  
wondering what went wrong_

_And falling down on your knees  
asking for sympathy_

Before the doctor had time to leave the room, Gibbs had left. Seeing the crushed expression on Abby's face was all the incentive Ziva needed to run after him.  
She lost him while rounding the corner of a hallway. He was fast, and even though she was a well trained agent, she realized it was probably best to leave him.  
She backed into another corridor. She looked around, this was obviously a childrens ward of some sort. There were bright wall paintings of cartoon characters all over the walls, and above a door hung a sign, obviously scribbled by a child, that said Pediatric o... ,she squinted while trying to read it, o-something. She peered through a glass window into what seemed to be a room full of toys and playing children. She smiled at them for a few seconds, they seemed to be playing so happily, and it was a welcome change from the otherwise somber hospital. Suddenly, she became painfully aware that all of the children were bald. Of course... pediatric oncology. She quickly backed out of the corridor again, eyes stinging with tears.  
She was not often this emotional. She had built an inner wall to carefully protect her from any pain.  
But her team, they were special. They made her wall weaker over time. Abby in particular. Her innocent love was taking large bricks off her carefully built wall and just throwing them away.  
But Ducky was right, they were alike. They both had a deep passion for their job, and, as a consequence, worked a bit too much. But Ziva did not have Abby's energy, just like Abby did not have Ziva's patience. A vital difference.  
Ziva shivered as she walked pass an emaciated young woman who was supported by a man who Ziva guessed was her father. She was dragging an IV pole along with her.  
She had definitely had enough of wandering through the halls alone. The lonely walk, the children with cancer, the terminally ill woman, they had all made her realize something. She had realized that she needed to find Gibbs, and her team. She needed Abby to be okay, because she couldn't bear the thought of anything else. She could feel her wall cracking, and tears welling up in her eyes.  
She closed her eyes in a silent prayer.

_Being caught in between  
all you wish for and all you've seen_

_And trying to find anything  
you can feel that you can believe in_

_**May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you **_

As Tony sat by Abby's bedside, he couldn't stop blaming himself. He should have seen it coming. In all honesty, he had been too preoccupied with their latest case, or lack thereof, to notice the small changes, but now it was becoming very apparent that something was wrong. It wasn't until today, when she had come back to work, that he had actually noticed that she actually looked physically different.  
She had fallen into a light slumber. The dark circles under her eyes seemed more apparent in the stark hospital light. Her lips and nails were tinged with a slight blueish color. He had noticed that she had lost some weight, or rather, he had noticed that all of her tight pants suddenly looked baggy. When he had pointed it out, gently asking if she ate enough, she had snapped at him and told him she was fine, and that he should stop staring at her butt.  
Damn it, he should have known she wasn't fine! She was practically his sister, the closest thing to a family that he had. They had clicked the instant they met at NCIS, and through the years their friendship had evolved. He never had to pretend with her, he never had to put on a cocky act, or pretend to be okay when he wasn't. She accepted and loved him for who he was, not who he pretended to be.  
He cursed under his breath and swore to be a better brother from now on.

_I know I would apologize  
if I could see your eyes_

_'Cause when you showed me myself  
I became someone else_

Ducky looked at Abby's porcelain face through the window of her room. He felt almost embarrassed to be in there. It felt like he was intruding on a family moment, on a sister being watched over by her brothers.  
Thoughts whirled in his head after he had talked to her doctors.

His mind did not want to accept that Abby was sick. Her bubbly personality did not belong in a place like this. She is Abby, she never gets sick, she can do anything. She should not be lying in a hospital bed with an IV in her arm, Timothy and Anthony by her sides. Gibbs and Ziva should not be running away, unable to handle their pain. This was all wrong.  
And yet, it was true. And, as his head told his heart, he had somehow known that she could not work like this forever. He shook his head sadly. She was like a daughter to him, yet he could not even accept that she was ill. He took a deep breath, trying to gather himself, and walked into her room. The agents looked up at the ME, seeing the sorrow in his eyes. As he sat down in one of the chairs, both agents put a comforting hand on each of his shoulders, and the heavy burden on his heart seemed to lighten.

_But I was caught in between  
all you wish for and all you need_

_I picture you fast asleep  
A nightmare comes  
You can't keep awake_

_May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you_

McGee couldn't stop staring at Abby's chest. Of course, a few years ago, staring at Abby's chest would have had an entirely different meaning to him. But now, he watched it slowly rise and fall, rise and fall. Irrational fear told him that she could stop breathing in her sleep. The same irrational fear also screamed to him that now it might be too late for him to tell her, to tell her that he had always had feelings for her. How, although he had had girlfriends since they broke up, he would always compare them to her, finding them inadequate? How he never ceased to be amazed by her beauty? How her smell made happiness tingle in his stomach?  
How he tried, but couldn't imagine life without her?  
He sighed and made a silent vow to tell her.  
_  
'Cause if I find  
If I find my own way  
How much will I find?_

_If I find my own way  
How much will I find?_

It had been ten minutes since Gibbs had pushed open the doors of the back entrance again, this time going into the hospital. He had wandered aimlessly through ward after ward of sick and dying people. Unable to think. Unable to feel. What could possibly matter to him if he never got to see her smile again?  
No, he needed to focus on what was important. Abby._  
_Rounding the corner of the hallway where Abby's room was he noticed someone leaning against the wall, back towards him, in the otherwise empty hallway. Her shoulders shook as she cried silently. His mind worked slowly, noticing the slender, curvy figure and the loose curls in a tight ponytail before slowly realizing who it was.  
Ziva?

He reached out and touched her shoulder. When she turned around, her deep brown eyes showed the same despair that he felt inside. Instinctively, he put his arms around her, letting her cry against his numb chest.

_I don't know anymore  
What it's for_

_I'm not even sure  
If there is anyone who is in the sun  
Will you help me to understand?_

_'Cause I've been caught in between  
all I wish for and all I need_

_Maybe you're not even sure what it's for  
any more than me?_

_May God's love be with you  
Always  
May God's love be with you_

* * *

**I'm really thankful for every review I've gotten, they help me become a better writer, and most of all, they make me really happy! **  
**So to each and every one of you who has commented: thank you! :D **  
**I also enjoyed that some of you have been sending me some pretty nice fruit facts, keep 'em coming! ;)**

**Love!  
mangopineapple**


	8. Tiny note from the author

**Hey guys!**  
**Just a heads up: More chapters will be posted in the days to come, but right now, the words just wont come to me, and I'm left with three half-finished chapters...**

**:/**

**Hope you're still liking the story though!**  
**Comments or suggestions are always welcome!**  
**(Especially now, when I'm lacking inspiration ;))**

**Much love,**  
**mangopineapple**


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